LARRY'S DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO FIND A DATE...
I’m just going to cut to the chase. I’ve been single for twelve years, ok. Yes, I’m serious, stop laughing. My last girlfriend was in high school. We never went out on a date. I don’t count field trips or the times I took her to subway and she didn’t want me to buy her any cookies. 12 years ago in March, we broke up. I was going to college and back in them days, we didn’t have cell phones or cars. Actually, we had cars but I didn’t have one at the time. Anyway, I’m rambling. Long story short, March is my twelve year anniversary of being a single man. Guess what? Being single sucks. I can’t reap the benefits of being a single man. I can’t juggle two women at once. I can’t even juggle two balls…wait, that doesn’t sound right. You get what I’m trying to say. I’m going to use bigwheelbikergang.com to find me a date. Suck it, E-Harmony. I’ve tried Craigslist but Craigslist is like a box of chocolates, you may get a piece of chocolate that has NUTS!
Here is a little bit about myself. I’m tall and African Americany. The picture above shows my good side. I don’t have any kids that I know of. I don’t have any stalker tendencies, unless your name is Christina Milian. I’m a big movie watcher. As far as music, I listen to everything besides Country and Gospel. I’ll give Country a chance but Gospel reminds me of funerals. I love to drink, *High Five*. I don’t know what else to say to describe how perfect I am.
12 years isn’t that long. Besides growing a little facial hair and taco meat, nothing has changed. Johnny Dynamite can confirm everything I just said. If he doesn’t, I’m going to take my twenty back. If you’re interested leave a comment and Johnny will set everything up. He said he’s going to send us to Fogo de Chao on him. He’s a good dude.