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TAKING BACK NEW MEXICO

If you name your state "New Mexico," you are just asking for old Mexicans to move in. I don't know why it has taken Mexico so long to just gather a hundred thousand or so citizens and walk across the border. What could the border guard really do? And it would solve so many problems. Arizona and California could forget about their immigration problems. It would free up that star on the flag so Puerto Rico could finally become a state. Maybe Mexico just has a lack of poster board and markers.

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GOD, TEBOW SPLIT AMIDST INFIDELITY RUMORS... BRADY TO BLAME

A week after losing to the Patriots, sources have confirmed Tim Tebow and God are no longer a couple. Apparently Tom Brady had more to offer the big man upstairs, as Gisele Bundchen was seen slipping Candice Swanepoel's number to him in the owner's box before the game. Apparently a wife with Victoria's Secret model friends trumps prayer when it comes to football. Tebow was seen entering church early this morning in an attempt at reconciliation, but God was rumored to be in St. Barths with Swanepoel at the time.

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HAYWIRE: SOMEONE FORGET TO TELL THE DIRECTOR HE'S MAKING AN ACTION MOVIE

Naturally you would assume casting Gina Carano, MMA fighter and former American Gladiator, as the lead in your movie, it would be a fairly fast paced action movie with a lot of action. Sadly, after the first fifteen minutes you will be wishing you had gotten the large soda to help you stay awake. Soderbergh gives the film about as much action as Drive with about a tenth of the artistic ability.

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MY LITTLE PONY IS STILL COOL!

There are probably some hardcore My Little Pony collectors pulling their hair out seeing someone defile their precious little ponies, but what better to do with your old collection if you've got a paint brush and nothing to do with your time? I'm surprised Hasbro and Marvel haven't jumped on this. According to the artist's website, Stan Lee has one. So, what's the hold up?
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