Go to your local gunnery and pick yourself up a gun. Nothing fancy, just a .22 or whatever. And buy bullets. Live rounds, no blanks.
When you get home, go sit in your tub buck naked and load your new gun. Aim the gun at either of your pinky toes, depending on which one you like less (or which one you stub more). Pull the trigger, blowing off said little piggy.
Feel that awful sensation that starts in your toe hole and works its way up to your brain? That’s PAIN.